Teacher Training Week 2 & 3: Teaching in front of your mat is WAY harder than Practicing on your mat

"If you fight for your limitations, your only prize is that you get to keep them."

- Baron Baptiste-

Finding your voice can be a challenge. It's definitely not something I claim to owe up to. My boyfriend can tell anyone and everyone his opinions, standards, and point of view, yet he also manages to leave space for everyone else's voice in his arguments. I am not that person. I crumble at the thought of asserting my opinions and my story, unless it's about movies; and then I am steadfast and determined, sharing my point of views to the point of confrontation.

I think my biggest fear with teaching yoga was the thought that I would have to get up in front 20+ people and talk to them for an hour while they are contorting and challenging their bodies and their minds. But something valuable to take away from that is the fact that in a yoga studio a teacher is merely a guide to get you into yourself. My teaching is for me, using my voice as a subtle guide into a new place, is for them. It's a lot less pressure to understand that when I get up in front of a class, no one is judging me for forgetting sanskrit, or mixing up my left side and the right side, but students are deeply and importantly involved in themselves. Yoga was the first space where I found a way to tune out all of the noise in my head and find some peace. That new place inside myself was cultivated by a teacher, but forged from me. And that's a beautiful thing. That's why I want to teach yoga. I have always wanted to give others a path to a new place within themselves, to realize how amazing each and every one of us is. If I can help my students manifest joy and in turn they create a space where they become their most authentic self, I consider that a blessing.

This week in class I've been doubting A LOT. A deep internal investigation has begun within myself these past few weeks. I am being challenged physically, emotionally, and mentally and the new space hasn't built up a filter yet. Everything has been flooding in: joy, bliss, nerves, exhaustion, weakness, community, kindness, unease, self hate, doubt, and fear; just to name a few. These are the building blocks to a better self. These are why we practice yoga. To acknowledge and defend our best selves is a lifelong journey. It begins again every time I step onto my mat and will continue to evolve, grow, and change with time and patience.

Find your voice in whatever you do, I promise it's there and I promise it's important.