Thursday, September 19, 2013

You.


you matter, deeply.  

you are loved.

you are supported.

you are enough.

you are strong.

you are vulnerable.

you are expansive. 

you are a teacher. 

you are full of intention. 

you are all you need.

you are beautiful.

you are important.

you are surrounded by magic.

you are not lost.

you are resilient.

you are still.

you are bathed in light.

you are right where you should be.

you have everything you need. 

you are on an open road that leads where ever you want it to.

YOU are my inspiration.  

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Finding Space In Friendships

"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that." - Ally Condie
The most profound conversations always take place in our kitchen at 12:30am. I never realize how much I am holding onto, grappling with, caged by; until I find myself alone in the kitchen with the two people who hold me together in the most fragile of times. 
As we stood barefoot, eating the remnants of dinner, after a particularly depressing episode of Breaking Bad; we found ourselves talking about the limits of friendships. I've been struggling to redefine a few relationships in my life out of fear, anger, and guilt. It wasn't until we put the conversation on the table that I was really able to come to terms with the tangled mess that I've created and continue to live within. It was truly humbling to be looked in the eye and gently told that the only way to alter the negative relationships I am holding onto, is by letting them go myself. We cannot rely on others to help us define the terms of a relationship that is no longer serving who we've grown into. If we give other people this power, we will always feel strangled by feelings of unworthiness, selfishness, and sadness. 
For me, it will forever be a process, but today, I am beginning to truly understand what it means to let go of what I do not need to make space for those people who love, support and respect my individual growth. Here's to growing up and realizing that who we are and what we need are the most important aspects of ourselves and our relationships with other people. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

When in doubt, ALWAYS make muffins! Espresso Banana Muffins

Well, it's September, and Los Angeles is a momentary inferno, but this weekend it finally cooled down enough in our sweltering apartment for me to use the overripe bananas badly aging on our countertop to bake something delicious to serve to friends. And since I am in unabashedly in love with muffins, here we go.

Heidi Swanson's beautiful cookbook, Super Natural Cooking, was the inspiration for this week's recipe. I've been really interested in trying to create meals using whole & natural ingredients and most of the knowledge and expertise comes from Heidi's amazing blog, 101 Cookbooks and her other cookbook, Super Natural Everyday.

Super Natural Cooking, is chocked full of really inventive ways to add whole and natural ingredients into your pantry, so when you reach for ingredients to cook with you are starting with foods that are healthier and kinder to your body. I haven't been able to incorporate everything quite yet, whole and natural foods tend to be quite expensive to just cold turkey and completely restock at once. Every trip to the grocery store I buy one additional ingredient from her list. It makes switching affordable and easy.

Espresso Banana Muffins (with slight tweaks), from Super Natural Cooking

2 cups white whole-wheat flour (I used regular whole-wheat flour)
2 teaspoons aluminum-free baking powder
1/2 teaspoon fine-grain sea salt (I used regular kosher sea salt)
1 1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts (She recommends toasting them first, but I just used them chopped)
1 tablespoon fine espresso powder (I used regular ground coffee that I made fine with a grinder)
6 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature (Room temp really helps it to cream easier)
3/4 cup natural cane sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup plain yogurt (I used low fat vanilla yogurt)
1 1/2 cups mashed overripe bananas (The more overripe, the better. About 3 bananas)

Heat the oven to 375 degrees, position the racks low in the oven, and line 12 muffins cups with paper liners (I don't use liners, so I just dabbed each cup with a little canola oil before putting the batter in).

Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, 3/4 cup of the walnuts (toasted first if you so choose), and the espresso powder in a bowl and whisk to combine.

In a separate bowl or a stand mixer (I used my KitchenAid), cream the butter until light and fluffy. Beat in the sugar and then the eggs, one at a time. Stir in the vanilla, yogurt, and mashed bananas, then briefly and gently mix in the dry ingredients; over mixing will result in tough muffins.

Spoon into the prepared muffin tin, top with the remaining 1/2 cup of walnuts, and bake until golden, about 25 minutes. Fill the cups to the brim for big-topped muffins. Cool in the tin for five minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 12 large muffins.