Monday, April 14, 2014
Unease and New Beginnings
Recently, my boyfriend and I moved into a new place to call home. It has that first date feeling: I was super enthusiastic about looking for that space that I had been craving for the past few years, open to change, open to new experiences, open to the possibly of a new place to rest of head, but so far it feels awkward, strange, and really vunerable. It's such a strange way to feel after we had been thinking and dreaming of building a new space together. Trust me, I love my partner in crime, I have been waiting a long time for him to agree that our own space was also right for him. And although the space came easily, we literally found a place and were moved in the next week, I feel like a part of me is lost here. Something shifted in my body and in my mind and I haven't been able to settle into my comfort zone. It's been full of challenges, of lessons, of learning, and last night I realized how lucky I am to be so "in it" with someone. I am not alone, walking in the dark, with my eyes closed. I get to wake up, kiss that man beside me, and feel grateful. EVERYDAY. I've shared countless firsts with this man of mine, life has been teaching us the meaning of change and challenge, but we are always in cahoots, really in in together. So bring on the discomfort, find a way to let your light shine, and know that life is just asking you to show up fully to who you are, nothing more and nothing less. It's harder than it sounds, but I love the way that feels.